Wedding Invitation Wording

When it comes right down to it, very few people on your guest list will notice if you flub your wedding invitation wording and include someone who shouldn't be included or forget to spell out dates or times. The fact is that wedding invitation wording used to be a lot simpler -- the bride's family hosted (read: paid for) the wedding, which meant their names were on the invitation and the groom's parents' names were not.

Nowadays anything goes when it comes to who pays for the wedding. Sometimes the bride's parents pay, sometimes the groom's parents pay, sometimes the couple pays, and sometimes so many people contribute to the cost of the wedding that it's hard to say who actually hosted the event! It's not always easy to know what to write on wedding stationery, even if your family is relatively small and not marred by divorces. But if your family is anything like mine, there are a whole lot of moms and dads involved in the planning.

Below you'll find some traditional etiquette wording for invitations along with some less formal and contemporary wording, too. If you don't see any wording that applies to your particular situation, you can find a more comprehensive list of wedding invitation wording over at Smart Wedding Planning.

General Invitation Wording:

When Hosted by the Bride's Family:

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Allen Brooks
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Melissa Ann
to
William James Russo
on Saturday, the sixth of June
nineteen hundred and ninety-seven
at three o'clock
Saint Anne's Church
Manchester, Massachusetts

When Hosted by the Groom's Family:

Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Thomas Russo
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Miss (or Ms.) Melissa Ann Brooks
to their son
Mr. William James Russo
on Saturday, the sixth of June
nineteen hundred and ninety-seven
at three o'clock
Saint Anne's Church
Manchester, Massachusetts

When Hosted by Bride and Groom:

Melissa Ann Brooks
and
Mr. William James Russo
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage
etc.

Hosted by Both the Bride and Groom's family:

Mr. and Mrs. Robert Allen Brooks
and
Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Thomas Russo
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children
Melissa Ann
and William James
etc.

When Hosted by the Groom's family:

Mr. and Mrs. Anthony Thomas Russo
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of
Ms. (or Miss) Melissa Ann Brooks
to their son
Mr. William James Russo
etc.

Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Before you read on, keep in mind that wedding etiquette is a lot more malleable than it used to be. In other words, the rules of yesteryear may not apply. The information that follows is an overview of traditional wedding invitation etiquette, which was a lot more formal than the etiquette of today.

If you want truly formal invitations, choose engraving over thermography and opt for pure white or cream-tinted paper. Said paper should be medium weight and unglazed but smooth in surface, and roughly seven inches in length by six inches in width.

Plain script is favored for the engraving of the wedding cards -- old English script, Roman capitals and block lettering are all effective. A good stationer will show you the types of lettering most suited to wedding invitations at the present time. Remember: It's their business to be able to advise you of the latest trends and formalities.

Traditional formal invitations are issued in the name of the bride's parents, or, if she is an orphan, in the names of a married brother and his wife, of her guardian or her nearest male relative. If the bride's family has a family crest, it may be embossed in white in the center at the top of the engraved sheet, but not on the flap of the envelope. A recent fashion is to have the bride's initials embossed in white where the crest would appear. Both are nice, but decorations such as gilt-edges, entwined letters or coats-of-arms in colors are in bad taste.

Now that you know the rules, you're equipped to break them! You want lime green cotton fiber invitations printed with soy ink? Go for it! Or maybe you like seal-n-send invitations that save paper and time? Fab! The only time you really need to worry about proper wedding invitation etiquette is when you've got your heart set on them. Otherwise, choose whatever invitations resonate with you and your intended.

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