Wedding Reception Basics

However tempting it might be to run off after your wedding ceremony with your new spouse to sip champagne, pose for hours of wedding photos, or just get a burger, remember that your wedding guests are waiting for you! The wedding reception is one of the most enjoyable parts of the wedding for the people who love you most, and part of their enjoyment hinges upon getting to see you in all your finery up close.

If you're going to be late to your wedding reception because posing for wedding photographs is going to take a while, be generous and have sumptuous treats to greet your wedding guests. Cocktail hour creates an environment conducive to mingling and conversation, especially when you have soft music playing in the background and plenty of drinks to go around.

Having a cocktail hour at your wedding reception gives your wedding guests an opportunity to get to know each other and talk. To set the mood, opt for jazz classics piping through your reception venue's sound system. Jazz classics are enjoyable, but at the same time set an elegant mood that reminds people that they are in attendance at a solemn and important event.

Consider springing for extra wait staff at the reception venue. It is quite a hassle to have to repeatedly go to the bar, and once there, wait in line. It also adds a sense of refinement to your event to have butlered drinks being passed. Here is a chance to incorporate your personality by having a signature drink passed and available at the bar. Put up a little sign in a silver plated frame explaining the significance of your custom wedding cocktail.

Trust us when we say that it's little touches like that that make a wedding feel truly special... even if the bride and groom haven't yet arrived!


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Wedding Reception Checklist

Once you've said your "I dos," it's time to party! While there are many ways you can format your wedding reception, most wedding receptions involve certain must-have elements. You can't, after all, have a wedding reception without a reception venue, and it is the obligation of every bride and groom to feed and entertain their wedding guests. Most wedding receptions are somewhat formal, but yours can be anything from pizza and beer at the bowling ally where you met your spouse-to-be to a English-style garden party complete with finger sandwiches.

No matter what kind of wedding reception you choose to have, you'll need to be familiar with certain elements of reception planning. Here's a helpful (albeit short) checklist to get you started:

__ Book your wedding reception venue at least six months in advance. Ask for discounts if you feel like it -- the worst the site manager can say is no.

__ Ask about special wedding packages before you book your wedding date or sign any contracts. Many venues will give you freebies or perks because you're the bride.

__ If you don't understand the fees you're paying, a second pair of eyes (your intended, your mom, etc.) can ensure you don't get scammed or overcharged.

__ Make sure your preferred venue will accommodate all your guests.

__ Don't forget that your reception venue will have its own color scheme. Consider whether your wedding colors will clash with the walls, the carpets, or the linens.

__ Ask the reception site manager whether you can use your own caterer or are obligated to use the house service providers. If you can, make sure your baker and caterer are familiar with the site.


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Wedding Music Order of Events

If you can afford to have live musicians at your wedding ceremony, we say "Go for it!" Live music adds a special touch to a wedding ceremony that cannot be replicated with a CD in a boombox or a wedding disc jockey playing Here Comes the Bride. Live wedding ceremony music is not only a nod to wedding traditions of days gone by; it's also extremely elegant and entertaining for wedding guests waiting for the bride to make her grand entrance.

Of course, once you have hired live musicians to play at your wedding ceremony -- we recommend a classical quartet -- you still need to know what music happens when. Your musicians may or may not be familiar with the usual order of wedding ceremony events, which means it's your job to know everything you can about wedding ceremony music. Here's a primer to start you off:

The Prelude
As guests are arriving and being escorted down the aisle to their seats, a mix of classical pieces and soft contemporary songs lets them know that something special is about to happen.

The Pre-processional
Wedding music helps build emotion as family members and other honored guests who are not members of the wedding party are escorted down the aisle. The mother of the bride is usually the last to be seated before the wedding party comes down the aisle.

The Processional
This is the point in the ceremony when the groomsmen, best man, groom, bridesmaids, maid of honor, ring bearer, and flower girl walk down the aisle. The bride and father of the bride are the last ones to walk down the aisle in the most dramatic part of the ceremony.

The Ceremony
In a traditional Christian church wedding, hymns, calls to worship, or other wedding music that is part of the order of the wedding service can be performed by your wedding musicians as the ceremony unfolds. This is also the appropriate time for an instrumental or vocal solo.

Recessional
At the conclusion of the ceremony, the wedding officiant announces that the bride and groom are married and music is usually played at this point. This is when many couples let their personalities shine through with their music selection. During the recessional, the bride and groom are first, followed by the wedding party and the officiant.

Interlude or Postlude
This is when the guests exit the church. Wedding music can be played until the guests are out of the ceremony area.

With a few modifications, this order is appropriate for a quicker or less traditional ceremony. It's always a good idea to have wedding music as guests arrive, as the wedding party enters, and as the bride and groom exit together.


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Best Man's Toast

Ah, the best man's toast. They can be absolutely lovely -- so moving that there's not a dry eye in the house. They can also be excruciating to sit through, especially if the best man has had one too many glasses of champagne punch. If you're worried that your man's best man will give a toast that falls into the latter camp, pass this best man's toast how-to onto him.

First off, the most beautiful sentiment you can express is the positive change you've seen in the couple since they met. If you're having trouble coming up with the right words, ask yourself how the groom has grown and evolved since meeting his future wife. How has he changed overall since you first met him? If you were kids together, choose an anecdote from your youth to share.

When you think about adding humor, remember that everyone has a different idea about what's funny and what isn't. Keep in mind that you are speaking to a wide demographic and some people will take what you say very seriously. It's best to always remain proper and gracious. Don't share any embarrassing stories or talk about sex.

But be yourself. Don't look for a very formal script from a book if you aren't a formal person. Make sure your toast sounds like you. There are lots of ways to personalize your toast to keep the audience engaged.

Above all, remember to keep your toast very, very short. When you're done toasting, thank the audience for coming even though you aren't the host. Being the best man, you had a vested interest in your good friend's wedding turning out perfectly, so you're well within your rights to do so.

(By the way, if the maid-of-honor is giving a toast, these guidelines will apply to her as well!)


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Receiving Line Etiquette

The receiving line developed from the ancient belief that brides and grooms had the power to spread good luck among wedding guests on the day of the ceremony. Specifically, they shared that good luck through touch. Each wedding guest was given a chance to press hands with the bride and groom.

In modern times, many brides and grooms wonder who's in the receiving line. This can vary, depending on who hosted the wedding and who participated in the wedding. Some receiving lines are made up only of females with the exception of the groom, so you might have a receiving line like this: MOB, bride, groom, bridesmaid, bridesmaid, bridesmaid. If nothing else, the bride and groom must take part. The most common receiving lines are made up of the parents of the bride and groom, the bride and groom themselves, and their attendants. Sometimes attendants do not participate -- this is for the best, we think, as longer receiving lines can eat into the reception!

Why have a receiving line? Many couples often pass on this and prefer to "make the rounds" greeting their guests during the wedding dinner. A receiving line gives you and your new spouse a chance to greet each and every one of your wedding guests and gives your guests a chance to hug and congratulate you on your new life status. If you're uncomfortable with the idea of greeting each of your guests, just remember that they have come to your wedding to honor you, and saying hello to each of them is the least you can do in return.


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Mother Son Dance Songs

Everyone is familiar with the tradition of the father daughter dance that takes place at most wedding receptions. In recent years, the mother-of-the-groom has decided she wanted to get in on the act, and the mother son dance was born. While not yet as popular as the father daughter dance, the number of songs for mothers and sons to choose from is definitely growing.

If the groom has more than one mom in his life -- common, these days -- he can begin dancing with one, and the other can cut in part way through the dance. If the groom doesn't have a mom, an aunt, grandma, or sister can stand in if she's had a hand in raising him. Some couples combine the mother son and father daughter dances to save time during the wedding reception, since wedding guests are usually eager to get to the wedding cake!

Below you'll find a list of the most popular mother son dance songs.

I'm With You -- Joan Baez

In My Life -- The Beatles

In This Life -- Collin Raye

Mama -- B.J. Thomas

Memories -- Elvis Presley

Memory -- Barbara Streisand

My Son -- Brendan Shine

A Song For Mama --Boyz II Men

As Time Goes By -- Ray Anthony Orchestra

Because You Loved Me -- Celine Dion

Blessed -- Elton John

Boy of Mine --Good Time Singers

Butterfly Kisses --Bob Carlisle

Close To You -- The Carpenters

Do You Remember -- Phil Collins

Don't Know Much -- L. Ronstadt & A. Neville

Ebb Tide -- Righteous Brothers

Edelweiss -- The Sound Of Music

For the Good Times -- Ray Price

Forever Young -- Rod Stewart

Glory of Love -- Peter Cetera

Greatest Love of All -- Whitney Houston

God Bless The Child -- Tony Bennett

Have I Told You Lately That I Love You -- Rod Stewart

Hero -- Mariah Carey

I Am Your Child -- Barry Manilow

I.O.U. (I Owe You Mother) -- Jimmy Dean

I Remember You -- Bette Midler

I Will Remain Your Little Boy -- Chris Taylor

I Wish You Love -- Natalie Cole

I'll Have To Say I Love You In a Song -- Jim Croce

I'm With You -- Joan Baez

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Saving On Wedding Decor

If you haven't been touched by these tough economic times, we here at Smart Wedding Planning envy you! But if you're like most people and you're feeling the pinch, you may be looking for ways to save money on your wedding. It's not easy -- many ceremony accessories and reception accessories are heavily marked up by vendors who know that brides- and grooms-to-be are willing to pay a premium for "the best."

One way to save money on your wedding is to embrace the do it yourself spirit. Yes, putting together wedding favors or making your own bridal bouquet takes time, but the end product is often more beautiful and more interesting than anything you might buy in a shop. We've put together a short list of ways you can save money on your ceremony and reception decor without having to become a master crafter.

1. Use candles for centerpieces instead of flowers. DIY is easy with candles.

2. Decorate with balloons -- this is fun if you're having kids at your wedding. Let each child take home one or more balloons at the end of the evening.

3. Use silk flowers. They always cost less than fresh flowers, plus they can be rented. If you want to make your own bouquets, it's a lot easier to do so with silks.

4. Bridal and bridesmaid bouquets can double during the reception as decoration for the head table, cake or gift tables. Just make sure you have vases ready.

5. To really save costs, have each bridesmaid carry a single bloom.

6. Make your own pew bows instead of purchasing them. See Making Pew Bows.

7. Use more greenery, tulle, and baby's breath for decorating, and less actual flower blooms. Green bouquets and centerpieces are hot right now!

8. Use only flowers that are in season, and consider choosing less expensive flowers like carnations.

9. If your ceremony site is having more than one wedding that day, contact the other bride-to-be and talk about sharing decoration expenses. The worst she can say is no!

10. Purchase candles, white lights, and other white and silver decorations after the holidays when everything goes on sale.


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Planning a Memorable Wedding

Now that the U.S.'s presidential race is over -- at least for a few years -- brides- and grooms-to-be can start thinking about an entirely different sort of leadership. Confused? Don't be. The fact is that memorable wedding receptions depend on good leadership. After all, you're going to have a lot of people working on your behalf to make your wedding great.

So what makes a good leader? First, know that the leader can be a day-of wedding coordinator, a wedding planner, your mom or dad, or even you. If you plan on conducting the show, know that you're primary job will be to delegate but you will still have to spend time supervising. When the leader is someone working on your behalf, you can sit back and relax.

We've assembled a short list of tips that will help you plan and host the best wedding ceremony and wedding reception ever.

Hire the Best
Select the finest wedding professionals you can afford, because they will need the least supervision. Their expertise will also give you the best results and save you lots of worry and, in the long run, money. Hire only those vendors you like and trust -- don't try to save money by hiring someone who is less than professional in how they handle themselves. When you have the best working for you, they will listen to what you want.

Inspire Teamwork
Choose vendors and helpers who are easy to work with. Stay away from egomaniacs, lazy people, and individuals with bad attitudes when deciding who will be responsible for making your wedding beautiful. If your best friends aren't reliable, ask your relatives (rather than your bridesmaids) to give you a hand with favors, food, and day-of details. Remember to always be gracious, however, as a smile goes a long way when you need a favor.

Be Prepared
The more prepared you are, the less stress you'll experience. Make sure that those people who are playing a part in your wedding know what they have to do and when they have to do it. Don't leave anything to chance. Supply you emcee with names and pronunciations of your bridal party, and the people giving toasts and blessing. Tell your caterer when you want food served. Remind your niece that she is lighting candles in the church. Etc.

Stay Positive
Something will go wrong -- there's no getting around that. Let it roll off your back like water off a duck's back instead of freaking out. If you keep your cool, everyone around you will mimic your good example and be more likely to step up to the plate when you need help. Maybe your wedding gown splits. Maybe the bottom tier of your cake cracks. Maybe your officiant is late. It's not the end of the world, so don't treat it that way.

Good luck! We guarantee you'll do great!


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Choosing a Caterer

Of all the responsibilities brides- and grooms-to-be have to handle, choosing a caterer is one of the most vital and one of the most enjoyable ones. Why is that? Once you've narrowed down a list of potential caterers, you will usually get a chance to sample the dishes they specialize in. In fact, this is one of the duties grooms-to-be usually like best!

But slow down -- before you get to the tasting stage with your wedding caterer, you have to find the right one. And before you can find the right one, it's important that you study up a little on the ins and outs of wedding catering. Here are some things you should know before jumping into the world of wedding catering feet first:

• As far as expenses and wedding budgets go, your wedding catering or food bill is typically your largest expense, coming in at 45% to 50% of most wedding budgets. So choose your caterer carefully! Spend plenty of time with your caterer talking about your budget, the style of reception you'd like (i.e. buffet, food stations, sit down dinner or cocktail reception) and the types of food that you'd like to serve.

• Don't hesitate to check references. Many brides ask for references and receive them, but never call. Make at least TWO reference phone calls before you settle on a particular caterer. Don't by shy -- remember, newlyweds love to talk about their wedding!

• Service is almost as important as food when it comes to choosing a wedding caterer. Be sure to ask any prospective caterers about the ratio of servers to guests at a typical wedding. This can vary depending on the type of reception (seated dinner versus buffet) and the types of food being served, but it's nice to have at least one server per eight guests.

• Be sure to ask about the dinnerware or china they will provide, if any. Some caterers provide food, but work with the flatware and serving trays provided by the reception venue. Others do bring dinnerware and more with them, but it may not be as nice as that provided by the reception venue. Ask to see samples to make sure that their place settings compliment the rest of your wedding decor.

• Find out what decorations are included in the caterer's price. Ask to see pictures of their table displays. Some caterers that do buffets or food stations will include floral arrangements and other decorations. Other caterers do amazing and artful things with the food itself, like carved squashes or melon baskets. Even if such things haven't come up yet, ask for what you want. The worst the a prospective caterer can say is "Sorry, we aren't equipped to do that."

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