Wedding Music Order of Events

If you can afford to have live musicians at your wedding ceremony, we say "Go for it!" Live music adds a special touch to a wedding ceremony that cannot be replicated with a CD in a boombox or a wedding disc jockey playing Here Comes the Bride. Live wedding ceremony music is not only a nod to wedding traditions of days gone by; it's also extremely elegant and entertaining for wedding guests waiting for the bride to make her grand entrance.

Of course, once you have hired live musicians to play at your wedding ceremony -- we recommend a classical quartet -- you still need to know what music happens when. Your musicians may or may not be familiar with the usual order of wedding ceremony events, which means it's your job to know everything you can about wedding ceremony music. Here's a primer to start you off:

The Prelude
As guests are arriving and being escorted down the aisle to their seats, a mix of classical pieces and soft contemporary songs lets them know that something special is about to happen.

The Pre-processional
Wedding music helps build emotion as family members and other honored guests who are not members of the wedding party are escorted down the aisle. The mother of the bride is usually the last to be seated before the wedding party comes down the aisle.

The Processional
This is the point in the ceremony when the groomsmen, best man, groom, bridesmaids, maid of honor, ring bearer, and flower girl walk down the aisle. The bride and father of the bride are the last ones to walk down the aisle in the most dramatic part of the ceremony.

The Ceremony
In a traditional Christian church wedding, hymns, calls to worship, or other wedding music that is part of the order of the wedding service can be performed by your wedding musicians as the ceremony unfolds. This is also the appropriate time for an instrumental or vocal solo.

Recessional
At the conclusion of the ceremony, the wedding officiant announces that the bride and groom are married and music is usually played at this point. This is when many couples let their personalities shine through with their music selection. During the recessional, the bride and groom are first, followed by the wedding party and the officiant.

Interlude or Postlude
This is when the guests exit the church. Wedding music can be played until the guests are out of the ceremony area.

With a few modifications, this order is appropriate for a quicker or less traditional ceremony. It's always a good idea to have wedding music as guests arrive, as the wedding party enters, and as the bride and groom exit together.


Click to learn more about choosing wedding musicians or the order of wedding ceremony events

Wedding Ceremony Music Tips

When people think of wedding music, their thoughts typically turn to reception music, as it is the reception music that keeps the party going. But when you're thinking about wedding music, don't forget the ceremony music! It is the processional and the recessional that set the mood. The music that is played before the ceremony even starts keeps guests amused as they wait for the big entrance. And, if your ceremony is a religious one, the music played during the ceremony itself can clue less religious guests into the solemnity of the ceremony.

The following tips can help ensure that your wedding music is the perfect backdrop to your ceremony, from start to finish.

• If you're not going to ask your wedding DJ to provide the music, try to book your musicians at least one year in advance. Think about whether you would prefer an ensemble or a soloist. Don't forget to factor in cost!
• Make sure your wedding ceremony location has room for your wedding musicians and their equipment. If your wedding will take place in a house of worship, ask your officiant whether there are rules regarding music and musicians.
• Ask if there are any acoustical considerations at your ceremony venue. Your wedding musicians may need to adjust their volume or use specific equipment.
• If you're not sure what musical selections to choose, don't hesitate to ask for recommendations from your musician. Aside from the wedding standards, she should be able to suggest several options. Don't be afraid to go against the grain and choose music that is meaningful to you.
• Don't be afraid to mix music styles. Whether you're trendy or traditional, a mixture of classical and soft contemporary has wide appeal.
• To avoid your first few guests sitting in silence, have your wedding musicians start at least a half hour before the ceremony, preferably as the first guests begin arriving. You can choose the music that is played at this point or let your musician choose popular standards.
• While it's not necessary to have a special wedding song during the ceremony, it can lend a poignant and moving moment for guests, family, and the couple. You may choose to have a musical number during the exchange of rings or lighting of the unity candle.
• Pay attention to song lengths. If the bride will be walking down the aisle, prelude music length should coincide with song length. It's best for prelude music to fade out, not stop abruptly or play too long. If you having music mid-ceremony during the ring exchange or unity candle, the times should coincide as well.

Rememberthat carefully chosen ceremony musicians will leave a lasting impression for your guests and a precious memory for you and your partner.

Click for more information about wedding music and wedding bands

Religious Wedding Traditions

There are as many religions as there are cultures in the world. If you grew up faithfully practicing a certain religion, there's a good chance that you and your intended will tailor your ceremony to that religious tradition. If, however, you belong to different religions or neither of you practices a religion but you'd like to incorporate religious elements into your ceremony, there are plenty of options open to you.

Many religions have rules and traditions surrounding the wedding ceremony, though most leave room for the addition of creative touches like personalized wedding vows, home-grown rituals, or ceremonial elements from other faiths. Check with your officiant to see if there are any rules you must follow before deciding on a certain tradition. On the other hand, you may be simply "shopping around" for rites and traditions that suit your unique style and personal philosophy!

Here is a list of religious wedding traditions from a few faiths to get you started:

Protestant Weddings

• After the processional, the service begins with a greeting and call to worship by the minister.
  
• Readings, a short sermon, and the lighting of a unity candle are often a part of the ceremony.
  
• The ceremony concludes with a prayer of thanksgiving, the benediction and finally, the recessional.

Roman Catholic Weddings

• Before getting married, the couple must attend marriage counseling, called "pre-cana programs."
  
• The Bride and Groom get married at her parish.
  
• The ceremony must include the nuptial blessing, prayers and at least three readings.
  
• As the vows are being exchanged, the entire congregation stands.
  
• Mass is often included in the ceremony.

Jewish Weddings

• The ceremony must take place under a Chuppah. This symbolizes a husband bringing his wife into their home.
  
• Memorable elements include the blessing of the wine, the reading of the Ketubah and the breaking of the glass.

Muslim Weddings

• The ceremony is really just the signing of the wedding contract. It lasts only for about five minutes.
  
• The public celebration can last for days afterwards.
  
• The celebration begins with a Walima, which is a feast where chicken, fish and rice are served.
  
• Toward the end of the festivities, the bride is often lifted like royalty and "displayed" for the crowd to see.
  

Buddhist Weddings

• Ceremonies are usually designed by the couple and are quite simple.
  
• An O jujo, a 21-bead strand, is used to offer prayers and incense to Buddha

It's easy to find wedding traditions from many different religions -- all you have to do is a simple Google search. It's up to you whether you want to abide wholly by the tenets of your faith or whether you'd like to include elements of wedding traditions from other faiths as well. If you are criticized for your choice to stray from a standard ceremony, remind your critics that the purpose of a wedding is the same in all religions...to unite two people.

Click to learn more about wedding ceremony ideas

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Ideally, wedding vows should come from the heart, but sometimes the heart gets a little writer's block and the writer needs a little help. Many people are happy to use the traditional vows that have been handed down for generations in religious institutions, communities, and cultures, though some brides- and grooms-to-be opt to write their own vows or add personal vows to the standard script.

Some feel that the standard vows used by their church or in their synagogue just do not encompass the feelings that they wish to convey, while others want to distance themselves from the words that the culture they have left behind associate with marriage. If this sounds like you -- and you may have many different reasons for wanting to write your own wedding vows -- there are some tips below that will jump start your creative brain.

NOTE: Some religious institutions do not allow personal vows and some states require that you say certain words at some point during the ceremony for it to be legal. Traditional Catholic wedding ceremonies usually require you to recite all or at least a portion of the old traditional vows. Check with your priest, rabbi, cantor, father, religious leader, or other officiate to be sure that writing your own vows is a-ok. Then be prepared to have the wedding officiate read through your vows, as some will want to do this before giving you the go ahead.

Who Writes What
You and your intended may not both feel comfortable writing your own individual vows. If this is the case, one of you can recite personalized vows while the other recites standard vows. Or you may choose to write your vows as a couple. Remember that there is an intimacy inherent in writing your vows alone and not revealing them until the day of the wedding.

Things you will want to consider including in your vows:

- Humor: Don't use too much. A little goes a long way.
- Sincerity: Tell your spouse what you love about them.
- Poetry: Quotes from romantic people can spice up your vows.
- Touching: Don't be afraid to express your feelings in front of a crowd.
- Seriousness: Remember you're not trying to impress anyone with your wit.
- A vision of the future: What will your shared life look like?

Creating an Outline
You may want to keep your structure similar or not. One person's vows may be longer than the others, and that's fine. Drafting an outline before writing your vows helps you clarify your vision and makes writing your vows that much easier.

Your outline may look like this:

- What attracted you to your fiancé?
- Who you were before you met your fiancé
- Why you are perfect for each other
- How you have changed for the better
- What you see for you, as a couple, in the future
- Why you will always be true
- Something meaningful that happened when you met
- How your fiancé helped you to achieve a love this powerful
- How you will still be happy 40 years from now