Creating a Wedding Registry

Let's face it -- creating a wedding registry is probably one of the hardest items on your wedding planning checklist. After all, making a huge list of what you wanted for Christmas or your birthday was cute when you were five, but it doesn't seem so cute when you reach adulthood and are about to be married. You may feel slightly or even entirely uncomfortable creating a wedding registry because it seems like just another gift grab.

To register or not to register
The good news is that you don't have to create a wedding registry if you don't really want to. You will more than likely still get plenty of gifts without one, and you may even find you receive more cash gifts. Don't feel obligated, but do expect that hordes of relatives will approach your family and friends to ask where you're registered or what you'd like to receive.

But if you're on the fence about the whole thing, remember that registering is as much for your guests' benefit as it is for your own. Your family may know what you and your spouse-to-be need, but your childhood friend who hasn't seen you in a few years probably won't have any idea what you want. Registering gives them guidelines, and makes shopping less of an ordeal for them.

Creating your wedding registry
With that in mind, register at a few stores that offer merchandise at different price points. Never ever ever pack your registry with high-priced items! While some of your guests may be well off enough to afford a big splurge, many others will be operating on a budget. It's fine to register at a high-end retailer, but be sure that you also register at a retailer that offers lower-priced merchandise too. In this way you leave it to your guests to decide how much they want to spend.

Variety is not all the spice of life; it's also the spice of your gift list. Be sure there is something on it for everyone's budget...and for everyone's tastes. For every guest who is content to buy you pots and pans, there will be another who would rather give you something fun and frivolous. Even before you make your registry, take inventory of what you have and then itemize what you need.

Use the grapevine
The next question is how to get the word out. The only polite way to let guests know what you want involves a small-scale form of vital marketing. Tell your close family and friends where you are registered, and then let them do the talking. Your guests will reach out to the special people in your life when it comes time to buy a gift, so you don't have to do a thing beyond that. The information gets passed along without your breaking any etiquette rules.

Gifts? No thanks.
Even if you don't want gifts or would prefer cash, never ever ever say this on your wedding invitations or wedding web site. That's considered tremendously gauche. Remember that a gift is gratuitous, and as such the right to give or not to give belongs to the giver, not the recipient. If you really would like guests to make charitable contributions instead, register with the I Do Foundation, which will let them do just that. If they insist on giving you a memento of your big day, accept it graciously. The gift is as much for the giver as it is for you.